design your life May 02, 2021

Are you as wiped-out and muddle-headed as I am? I've been feeling guilty about that and the fact that I can't seem to get my *chic* together these days.

The last year seemed so ... unreal. And also, too real. As did most of the world, I spent a lot of time inside the house. I still am. 

I haven't been able to self-diagnose exactly what I've been feeling. When I read Adam Grant's piece in the New York Times naming the mental state many of us are in, I had a lightbulb moment. I'm languishing.

"Languishing is the neglected middle child of mental health. It's the void between depression and flourishing - the absence of well-being. You don't have symptoms of mental illness, but you're not the picture of mental health either. You're not functioning at full capacity. Languishing dulls your motivation, disrupts your focus and triples the odds that you'll cut back on work."

I'm on the cusp of being fully vaccinated and yet a virus has crept into my head.

I started to tell myself  *stories* about *not being enough* causing mayhem in my mind with very real-sounding reasons. I realized I need to move past *why bother* to dream, desire and believe again.

In this weird time of inertia, fear has left me not being able to believe. The reality is we've had bigger things to think about than what we are wearing. I've wondered if what I have to offer would ever be relevant again.

When I look at all the work I've done, I realized I can't give up. My debilitating self-talk suddenly stopped. My work is good. It matters. I'm proud of it. It makes me happy. It makes others happy as well.

Fashion isn't frivolous. What we wear is an extension of who we are. We lock our door behind us when we leave, park our car when we arrive, but our outfit goes everywhere with us all day, speaking our story.

My Style Therapy column in the Calgary Herald runs regularly and is being picked up by media across the country. Past students tell me how much of an impact Style Your Life had on them. Potential students are telling me they are starting to get excited about getting dressed again. Hopefully by fall things might start to feel more *normal* again as vaccinations continue to roll out and the world starts to open up.

I discovered when I am creating, writing and doing it pulls me forward. Now I understand that action confuses fear and builds confidence.

I can only say: I see you. I hope you do what you need to do, to dream again. To foster hope.

Most of all, to feel less alone.




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