Learn to say NO

fashion your style Nov 17, 2020

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. Each of us carries our own life-plan, which cannot be superseded by any other.

~C.G. Jung


Nothing makes me crankier than a pair of shoes that hurt.

I can’t believe that I spent so many years working in the fashion world shod in shoes that put me in severe pain at the end of the day. Presenting an elegant exterior is not without its perils. I look around today and see many fashion-forward women teetering on their stilettos and am reminded of the discomfort that intolerable footwear affords.

Men just don’t seem to get why we love shoes so much.

Each pair is like a friend with a distinct personality. Some make us feel glamorous and sexy, others chic and sophisticated and still others casual and funky. We need shoes that have both style and function — the basics — boots, an evening shoe, classic pumps, ballet flats, casual shoes, sandals and sneakers.

Then there are the shoes we want. How many pair we own is limited by our budget and closet space. Some only hold a place in our imaginations. A woman — and her shoes — is a beautiful thing.

Shoes always make me feel good. Whether I am fitting into my skinny pants or my fat pants, my foot size stays the same. Shoes never make me feel fat. But, I wish there could be more shoes that are cute, sexy, stylish and comfortable.

When I have to decide between cute and comfortable, most often I go with comfortable. I understand me and know that happy feet equal a happy face. I am grateful that one of the good things about getting older is finding the courage to just say NO.

Now, I’ve traded those silly stilettos for fabulous flats.

Living authentically is about having what means most to you — on your terms. Although it can feel uncomfortable to say NO, if we do things because we think we should in order to please others we sacrifice our comfort — and may even cripple our life.

Saying NO is one of the most transformative life skills that you can master. It allows you to step ahead of the things and people that don’t support or inspire you.

In The Wizard of Oz Dorothy established that a new pair of shoes can change lives magically. And Glinda, The Good Witch, reminds us that “you had the power all along, my dear.”

Create your life. Take one step at a time and follow the yellow-brick road to the place of your dreams.

(Since it’s a brick road you might want to wear light-weight hikers instead of ruby high heels.)

Here are some surprising statistics 2020: (source)

  • 32% of women own more than 25 pairs of shoes. (That's almost a pair for every day of the month.)
  • 52% of women have unworn shoes in their closet. (As a stylist I have come to know that women with shoe addiction buy shoes even if they don't have an occasion to wear them or an outfit they would work well with. Even though some shoes were uncomfortable when they tried them on in-store, they went ahead with the purchase anyway.)
  • Shoe fanatics are willing to break the bank on their shoes. Valentino shoes (an Italian brand), are the most expensive in the world and cost an average of $975 per pair.
  • The top *impulse-buy* shoe is the flip-flop.

Copyright 2020: Helene Oseen
An excerpt from Wear Your Life Well: Lessons on the Journey to your Truest Self



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